I Love Linux!

Disclaimer - If you get easily offended by bad language it's probably best you leave now... go on, F**K off!

Still here? Good! I'll tell you abit about me the Linux-Jedi!
I got introduced to linux by my mate Jedi-Dave around the year 2008
(Shout out to Jedi Dave!! Big-Up Yourself Mate!!)
Jedi-Dave took me under his wing as a mere Padwan and showed me the CLI Jedi ways, encouraging me and also ocassionally c**ting me off!
I started to use Linux and immediately fell in love with the underlying principles.
I actually feel more comfortable these days using Linux than other operating systems such as Windows.
I love trying out new distros and learning new functionality of various open source software packages.

Am I the strongest Linux Jedi out there???... probably not!
I probably wont go down in history.....
But I probably would go down on your mum!! ;)


Really!... let me know if she's up for it - Beggars can't be choosers these days!

The Jedi Skillset!

  • Cli Usage

    When you become a Linux jedi you don't need a mouse!! Mice are for Pussies and cats!! Pussy Cats! Meow.... Like what I did there?

  • Paper Apparently?

    According to this website Template... Jedi's use paper??.... To wipe their Arse!!! like the rest of you windows using pussies... yeh.. we aint special!

  • Diamond

    We aint changing the template so fuck it... we'll roll with it. Diamonds are expensive, Linux is Free! well.. Most of the time.

Linux Information

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Because you pussies can't read Latin.. let me break it down for you. This is the section where we give you random linux related statistics

  • 5,120 People in the world that use it!
  • 8,192 Files inside your
    /etc folder
  • 2,048 Your wifi signal before you installed Linux
  • 4,096 Reinstalls of your distro to get all the drivers working
  • 1,024 Motherfucking Diamonds couldnt buy you the happiness you get from using Linux, Guaranteed! Pussy!!

Not sure what to do tonight? No worries, Just spend 2 hours reinstalling your NVIDIA drivers on Centos because you installed a new kernel.. We don't do DKMS... we build our own shit around here!! Earn your keep!!. REGULATORS!!!!! ...

The Ending


Now that you guys have understood what it takes to be a Linux Jedi.. I wish you the best of luck on your Journey!

Jedi Dave converted me, and now I do my bit to pass on the torch to the next Jedi Generation!
Its been a real pleasure motherfuckers! Now go watch paint dry or recompile your kernel or something

Challenge of the Day: See if you can use less:
'grep | sed | awk | xargs' in a shell script than me.....
I save you the time, IMPOSSIBLE!
grep sed awk sed awk awk xargs!!


Special Shoutouts:


Jedi Dave! Ben Ben!! Carlos - the original Linux Jedi! Dries - the perl master! Luisin the Topic2Env Architect! and Finally but most importantly.... The Post-it Cock Master Juju!! For keeping me and the other guys always animated!

I hope I made you laugh, because lets be honest, thats what life is about really isn't it? Its about having a laugh, drawing cocks on post-its (well..if you are Juju atleast) and ofcourse recompiling your kernel to run on a potato..because why the fuck wouldnt you run Linux on a potato right?



Found a problem with my website?

I'll be sure to report it to my URLologist!


ha ha, get it?? Good! Look at you go you geeky nonce!!
now f**k off!